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No Thanks to Cake: The Engagement Epidemic

Friday, January 27, 2012

The Engagement Epidemic

Has anyone else noticed that just about EVERYONE you know is getting engaged these days?  

There was a period of time before the holidays where it seemed that everyone I knew was going from "in a relationship" to "engaged" on Facebook. 

Yep, this one got engaged.
Keep in mind, this was true for most every single girl that I know aside for me.  I have one or two girlfriends out there that are sticking with the single status for now, but for the most part... it appears that the world is pairing off two-by-two. I'm so far behind.

In the past, I've just been too "busy".  Busy working, busy traveling, busy living my life, busy achieving my version of success, and busy not meeting anyone that I could potentially pair up with. I asked a college friend of mine about it this week. Jokingly, I blame her for my not getting out there more (ie... Why didn't you make me date more? So I'd have had more practice!).

Now, at 35 and single, I've realized I want more.  Re-phrased, I've decided to make room in my life and to do something to get more.  

Why not?
How does a young (and fabulous) 35 year old meet a someone that's out there that's NORMAL and awesome.  I don't have the answer for you quite yet, dear readers, but I can tell you that I've started looking and I'll keep you posted.

While I feel it's a little overexposing to tell you too much quite yet, I joined eHarmony right before the new year.  I've always been a little anti-online dating, thinking that it didn't really work or couldn't possibly work for me.  However, I stand corrected. I've been matched with a ton of folks in the Denver area who allegedly are compatible to my personality profile.  Not bad!

It's a VERY low pressure, easy process to begin communicating.  You can move at your own pace and opt out at any point.  I find it very comfortable (surprisingly.)

Wednesday night, I went on my VERY first eHarmony date and it was REALLY great!  I mentioned my migraines I had this week had kicked my butt, but I had already set up this date prior to any of that madness setting in.  I couldn't cancel on him, and I was so glad that I didn't!  Between us friends:  I'd say it was the best first date I've ever had.  He was smart, funny, attractive, a professional, and a total gentleman (all positives in my book.) Now, we're still in the process of getting to know each other, but what a positive experience!  

I can honestly say that I think dating is much easier now that I've lost the weight.  Not because of what other people think about the weight... instead what I thought about the weight.  I always worried about what he was thinking about how I looked, or what people were thinking about with the guy being out with that chubby girl (me.)  It's not healthy to think that way and I recognize it now, but that was the way my mind used to work. 

I felt great walking into the restaurant last night with no hesitation, no major nervousness.  I did text a few people letting them know where I would be and to sound the alarms if they didn't ever hear back from me, which is slightly crazy.... but safety first, folks!

Took a bathroom pic of what I wore - - Couldn't resist! Check out that adorable iPhone!
Because I know you folks love my shopping talk, the outfit came from White House Black Market.  The jeans, bustier (yep!), and sweater were courtesy of a VERY awesome salesperson who put the look together.  The belt is a bow belt from New York and Company, but they sell one at WHBM too... I just already had it.  The iPhone case is from Verizon Wireless (of course).

I don't know what will come next of this date that I went on this week.  What I do know is that I had a great time and that I am excited to see him again.  And, I think that's right on track with where I should be.  It just feels good.

If you haven't gotten out there, what's holding you back?  Also, any good online dating tips/success stories?

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At January 27, 2012 at 8:36 AM , Blogger Tori said...

OMG, you are gorgeous!! Glad you had fun.

At January 27, 2012 at 9:21 AM , Blogger No Thanks to Cake said...

Aww.... Thanks, Tori. The outfit was PERFECT! Felt great! :)

At January 27, 2012 at 10:08 AM , Anonymous shawnie/greendiva said...

Ooh I love it! As an online dating veteran, I can tell you unequivocally that for me it was a trial - but also fun. I actually met my now-husband on Match a couple of years ago, and I find Match to be the most annoying, meat-markety of all the dating sites! Good luck with your dating and have fun. I especially related to what you wrote here: "Not because of what other people think about the weight... instead what I thought about the weight." That is TOTALLY how I felt when I was on the high end of the scale. I'm currently back at that high end but working on going the other way, but somehow I'm less uptight about it these days. Anyway, highjacking your comments section, I guess. Great outfit and good for you!

At January 27, 2012 at 10:34 AM , Anonymous DebO said...

Wow - love the WHBM outfit. You've always been beautiful but I've never seen you looking as gorgeous as this!

At January 27, 2012 at 11:44 AM , Blogger Fat in Suburbia said...

Cute outfit and we have the same iPhone case.

At January 27, 2012 at 11:56 AM , Blogger KateRN said...

You are amazing! I've tried online dating before with varied success. But my problem is I wasn't happy with ME. SO I couldn't find happiness in others. I was so self concious about going out with guys because of my weight! I don't know if you're the same as me but I totally understand. I'm also a busy professional with very little social time! YOU LOOK AWESOME. So cute and pretty!

At January 27, 2012 at 12:40 PM , Blogger brown beth said...

Kelly! How beautiful - you have always been pretty, but I can tell you are happy with you!! That's wonderful, and I am so glad you enjoyed your date!

At January 27, 2012 at 1:12 PM , Blogger Emily said...

I'm so happy for you! You look lovely... I bet your date thought he had lucked out with you :D I'm quite afraid to date because of my weight because it's all I can see and feel. I will try and be bolder :D Thanks for some inspiration in the romantic department!

At January 27, 2012 at 1:59 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

You look AMAZING Kelly! It has been a while since you posted a pic and the change in you since the last pics are transformative. I'm always amazed at how the body and face change as you get closer to your goal weight. Enjoy dating and exploring possibilities but be careful and remember that a partner should love you no matter what the circumstance (overweight or thin). All the best, Marion

At January 27, 2012 at 2:51 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are ridiculously gorgeous!!!

I read a random article the other day that said for the online dating sites the number one fear for women is 'meeting a serial killer'. The number one fear for men is 'meeting a fat girl'. No joke! CRAZY!

At January 27, 2012 at 4:09 PM , Anonymous NancyK said...

Congratulations my thin friend for taking the steps to get yourself "out there"! I wish you much success and hope you find the love of your life!
First - what? 35?? I would have guessed not a day over 30 - or even younger. You look fabulous!
Second - eharmony has a good reputation. I met my husband at age 28 at a Club Med in Cancun...and we are still going strong - it will be 24 years for us this July. You are so busy with your travel schedule that eharmonny sounds like a perfect idea!
Third: LOVE the outfit! Can you please talk to WHBM to open up a store in Northwest FLorida? We have nothing here!

At January 27, 2012 at 6:29 PM , Blogger Robin said...

All I can say is...WOW! Gorgeous and so sad I won't get that outfit handed down, lol! I'm just sooooo happy for you!!!

@ Miss April, that article is very disappointing but unfortunately not shocking. Sorry guys, your loss, curvy girls are amazing.

At January 28, 2012 at 6:13 AM , Blogger Weight Loss Girl (Nikki) said...

You looked gorgeous. I bet he couldn't believe his luck. I love your bustier, super cute.

I know what you mean about people getting engaged. It seems to be getting married and baby fever at the moment. I'm in a long term relationship, will be 5 years this year, eep and we've spoke about marriage but we simply don't have the funds. Everytime I hear someone is engaged I am happy for them but secretly think when will it be my turn? xx

At January 28, 2012 at 9:10 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love your blog and have been meaning to comment for a while and this is the perfect time!

I have been using for a while and it's the only site I have used. I like it for the most part (random creeps here and there). I have met a lot of really nice guys and am currently dating a couple :). I am finally at a point where I am comfortable and happy with myself and am now just having fun with the whole thing. My advice to you is to not put pressure on yourself or the men you date and to just have fun. Also, it can get overwhelming if you go out with too many men at once! I try to stick to two or just one at a time and if they don't work out, I move on. There are a lot of fish in the sea!

I think that with each date you go on, you learn more and more about yourself and about what you want from someone else. I am kind of picky and it may take me longer to find someone but I am willing to wait for the right person.

A few success stories....I have a sis, friend, and two aunts that met their husbands on online dating sites! It works! Let me know if you have questions! Have fun!

At January 28, 2012 at 1:41 PM , Blogger Erin said...

Oh my goodness Kelly, you look AMAZING!!!!!!! I can't wait to hear more about your eharmony experience...I've sort of put dating on hold as I wait to see how things pan out with a certain guy in my life, but once that gets sorted out, I will likely join eharmony!

At January 29, 2012 at 1:11 PM , Anonymous Mama Zee said...

You look awesome! And yay for a fantastic first date!

That case is convincing me I need an iPhone. Now I wonder if I can use it to convince my husband...

At January 30, 2012 at 1:13 PM , Blogger Tim said...

You are looking great, Kelly! I'm pleased the date went well.

I just signed up to an online dating site and it's so strange! After 2 weeks, I have just had my first person contact me and she mentioned that she's also losing weight, so a connection straight away. I'm pretty self-concious and really shy, so i'm just gonna take it nice and slow. I look forward to hearing how you do and I'll probably be asking you for tips now you're a pro! hehe :)

At January 30, 2012 at 1:52 PM , Blogger Mely said...

Kelli, I have to say OMG...LOVE the outfit!!! you look stunning!

I'm glad that a beautiful, caring and professional girl like you took the step to get out there and find your prince sharming as that is what we all look for...right! Don't be scared as long as you take precautions you will be fine. Never bring anyone to your house until your are sure that you can trust the person as sometimes socializing with a group of friend is good, so the guys is exposed to your friends. =)

I do believe in meeting poeple on the internet, that's how I met my husband 14 yrs ago. I met hit in a chat room (back in 1998) and after talking on the phone for 3 weeks we met in person. It was Love at first sight and we were married 6 months after (had to do it other wise I would have left and moved to Indiana to do my Master degree in Law). This July 1st will be our 14th year Anniversary. If I wouldn't been in that chat room talking to my BFF and I wouldn't had met him. Sometimes when Love knocks at your door you have to let it in even if that means having to change your plans. =)

I wish you the best of lucks!!!

At January 31, 2012 at 1:36 AM , Blogger mama.on.the.move said...

hotty!!! i would never have thought you looked 35, you look great :) fingers crossed for some AMAZING guy soon

At February 1, 2012 at 11:29 AM , Blogger Taryn said...

I met Chris online and we were immediately inseperable. We just had that connection that I'd never had before. I had been on plenty of dates, had boyfriends, and had my heart broken. But it all changed on September 11th (yes I know, could have picked a better day!), 2009. 2 and a half years later, we are still together, own a house together, raising my stepdaughter (and a puppy) together and are talking about having a baby of our own.

Good luck Kelly! I think the best advice I can give you is BE HONEST, not that you wouldn't anyways. I think that people are more inclined to "stretch the truth", especially during the online part.

At February 2, 2012 at 7:41 AM , Blogger Hilary (The Big Weight) said...

I'm so excited for you Kelly! And you're right.. the engagement thing is an epidemic. It's not all its cracked up to be! I look forward to more updates about this... being in love is one of my favorite feelings in the world!

At February 4, 2012 at 8:09 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

You look amazing!!!! Keep up the great work!
:) Jill


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